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Weigh Yourself

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ZOE

Avoid Ultra Processed Food...

At the age of 50, I've spent all of my adult life and much of my childhood being heavier than the weight that society tells me I 'should' be.  The words above might be a bit shocking, but they're just a small selection of the things I've been called over the years.  Sometimes to my face, sometimes without my knowledge at the time, and from a very young age.  Below that, are just some of the ways I've tried to make myself be the weight I'm 'supposed' to be.  And yet, in all of the 34 years of my adult life, I have only dipped below what the NHS calls 'Obese' twice, and then not for very long.  And in the eyes of the NHS I have never been a 'healthy' weight. 

September 2025 at the Scottish National 10 mile TT Championships- size wise, somewhere in the middle (photo by Tony Carroll);  in 2020 in one of my short stints below the 'obese' weight range having run my fastest ever 10k; and about 1999, in my mid-twenties and at my biggest - women's clothing size 26- on top of Tryfan in North Wales.

And yet... well you only need to read a few more of my blog posts to understand what my little shouted-at, offended, traumatised and abused body is capable of.  Or actually - what it has been capable of so far.  I haven't even come close to finding its' limits yet.  

Over the years I've tried and tried, but at 164cm tall the lightest I've ever been is 77kg.  And yet the BMI charts insist that a healthy weight for me is 49.8-67.2kg.  49.8kg???!!!  That just sounds unbelievably skinny to me.  And yes, I can hear many people shouting at the screen... BMI is nonsense, you will have more muscle mass... blah blah blah.  Yes, that's correct - I do.  But it's a rough guide, and it gives a window onto what society expects us to conform to.  

The latest part of my body's journey is well documented elsewhere in this blog: to complete Celtman is my overarching physical/athletic goal, and has been for a couple of years now.  So I won't write more about that in this post: but what I will say is that, for the first time in my life, the way I view my body and how I would like it to be is now based purely on physical, athletic performance.  Which in itself is incredibly liberating. It's not about what I look like.  I want to be just the right blend of light enough & strong enough to get that superhero feeling of riding, running & swimming fast.  I want to feel fit for the rest of my life.   

The photo isn't me, it's an advert from Women Who Lift Weights... 

but it says it all really, doesn't it? 

So after missing the cut-off at T2A for Celtman 2025, I realised the only way I will finish that race is to be lighter. Stronger, yes, but above all, lighter.   Because carrying more weight than I need up the hills is too costly in performance terms.  And so I set out to continue my journey with even more determination.  

I've been using the Fuelin App, which is great - and a rare find.  Whereas most means of food tracking are aimed purely at the general population, this is aimed at athletes: people training daily, and needing to fuel those training sessions.  Not just ad hoc activity, but regular, planned sessions of varying intensity with goals attached to them that need the athlete to fuel in a particular way to be successful.  It combines my training sessions planned in Training Peaks with my food tracked in the app itself alongside meals and recipes tracked in MyFitnessPal.  It's time consuming and takes focus, but it works.  I'm weighing myself whenever I start the day at home and don't have to rush out early, and have recently invested in a really good quality set of scales that give me detailed information on body composition. 

However, I was finding I still struggled to stick to the calories and macros the Fuelin plan suggested, particularly on shift days & nights.  In spite of this though, I lost 6kg, or just under a stone, between June 2024 and August 2025.  Slow weight loss, but whilst maintaining and building muscle mass. At the age of 50, this is the opposite direction to that in which most people are moving - but it's not enough.  

In parallel, another issue was beginning to make itself impossible to ignore.  I have a 4cm difference in leg length between my right and left legs, and have worn a heel lift in my right shoe for decades.  However, a few years ago I started to notice swelling in my right foot, and eventually got it x-rayed last year.  The x-ray showed something I didn't expect: osteoarthritis in the joints of my toes.  I also began to experience hip pain in my left hip, and I strongly suspect (although unconfirmed) I am beginning to develop arthritis in my hip joint.  Being lopsided isn't great - but being heavy and lopsided is worse. 

You can see the uneven angle of my hips in this photo - even with my heel lift.  When standing barefoot it's even more pronounced. 

So basically, the wish or need to be lighter has been getting more urgent, but my ability to do so has stayed the same.  From a wish to lose weight just because society expected me to in my twenties, to now in my fifties needing to do so both from an athletic perspective and more importantly to improve my long-term prospects for a high quality of life; the end is similar but the person doing it, and the outcome and reasoning, are very different. 

"Just eat less and move more" says the standard stereotypical advice.  I can assure you, it is not that simple.  

But of course these days another player has entered the weight loss debate... One that I was initially sceptical of, and dismissed as cheating, or as an unhealthy option: 

Drugs. Jabs. Wegovy, Mounjaro... or for the medically minded, Semaglutide or Tirzepatide.  GLP-1 Receptor Agonists.  

I'm not sure why the thought of these drugs entered my consciousness, but a few weeks ago, they did.  Perhaps I was (again) feeling a little despondent about my inability to get smaller, or perhaps it was talking to someone who had just made the decision to try them.  But I started to wonder.  Would they help me?  How did I really feel about them? 

So in my usual manner, I decided to find out.  I'm not a fan of taking medication unnecessarily, and am a firm believer in fully understanding my own health. So I got to work, reading as much as I could on the subject, listening to podcasts and news items, and discussing it with relevant people.  

I talked to Mark: it would have an impact on my appetite, and on my patterns of eating; and I might experience side effects.  I talked to Alan: it would potentially impact my training, my ability to complete sessions in the short term, but in the end it might be the thing that helps me achieve my long term athletic goals and helps me improve my long term health. 

Possibly most importantly, I discussed it with my GP.  Now, I'm very lucky.  I have a fantastic GP, who is the proud owner of a Celtman Blue T-shirt; and as a result, he knows exactly what I am trying to achieve, and what my work and my athletic life involve. Whilst it's not currently possible to get these drugs prescribed through the NHS, I still wanted his advice and perspective.  

All of these conversations were long, and began from a place of scepticism.  Is taking a drug to help with weight loss "cheating"?  Would there be negative health implications? Like me, all three people began with major reservations about the drugs and their possible effect for me.  But during each of the conversations, working through the pros and cons, the costs and benefits, Mark, Alan and my GP - and I, as a result- began to think differently about them.  Perhaps this was something I could turn into a real opportunity.  

All drugs have benefits: in my case, a helping hand to do something I'm already working really hard to do.  I already track my food, take care over what I eat, exercise regularly (I train almost every day, averaging 10+ hours a week) and have strength training as a solid part of my routine.  The benefits of the GLP-1 drugs is the way they work: switching off or altering the 'food noise'... Got a bar of chocolate in the house, and absolutely unable to turn off that little voice telling you it's there?  That's food noise.  They also slow down 'gut emptying', and make you feel fuller faster.  I have always, for as long as I remember, struggled to identify when I'm full and when I'm not.  

But they have disadvantages too, and side-effects.  These particular drugs can make you feel nauseous, can cause vomiting or diarrhoea, or constipation, and a whole host of other more serious side effects in some people.  So they are not without risk.  

And of course, there is the ultimate unknown: what happens when you stop taking them?  You've lost the weight... but if you don't change your lifestyle or habits then that weight goes straight back on.  They cannot be a fix on their own.  

Weight loss can always result in the loss of muscle mass, which isn't great for anyone - but particularly for me when I'm aiming to improve performance.  So regular high quality strength training and plenty of protein will be a priority.  It's also going to be really important to fuel my training sessions: to eat not too much, but enough.  Goldilocks, if you like.  Not too little, not too much, and develop habits that will last once I stop taking the medication.  

Alan had possibly the most pertinent phrase to describe what I was about to do: 

"A helping hand, not a nuclear option"

I decided to go ahead. 

 

If you really want to, you can access these drugs easily through any number of online pharmacies with very little in the way of checks, accountability or support.  But for me, this is a long term move and I want to do it right.  It's not just about losing the weight, it's about making a change that will stay with me for the rest of my life.  About the difference in Zoe at 80: moving with ease, or struggling.  

So I went with a supplier who isn't the cheapest, but is reputable and offers plenty of support.  I didn't get approval instantly: I had to wait for a clinician to review my application, and my HRT medication, and who then provided me with advice in that regard.  

And so, with some trepidation, I took my first jab on Wednesday evening, September 10th.  I didn't explode, no-one died, and the world didn't end.  It's a teeny-tiny needle and it didn't even hurt.  

On the day I took the first jab I weighed 87.6kg, and in the previous 2.5 months had managed to lose 1.8kg through careful eating, using the Fuelin app and while training an average of 9-10 hours per week. 

A couple of days in, and I've definitely noticed some changes.  My appetite is different, and the 'food noise' is definitely quieter.  Is that the drug, or a placebo effect?  I won't know for a while I guess.  I'll try my best to diarise the first few weeks here. 

Week 1: 

Aside from some very mild nausea on the first evening, I've had no side effects so far; although it feels like if I ate too much, I would feel a little unwell.  Strangely, I'm finding that I get an unfamiliar full feeling after eating, something my body just isn't used to.  It's almost as though it's telling me I'll feel a bit sick if I eat more.  

I've just done my first over-an-hour training session where I needed to eat while riding, since my first jab.  Lesson learned - don't forget to eat!  I'm very used to eating on the ride, right from the start.  But this morning I didn't really feel like it, didn't put anything in my mouth for the first hour, and paid for it in the second hour.  So perhaps I need to be a little more switched on to this now than I was before the jabs started. I already have alarms set on my Garmin to remind me to eat and drink - but I'm going to need to do that whether I feel like it or not. 

Towards the end of week 1, and I'm eating less.  Which of course means I'm also eating less protein - need to keep an eye on that and make sure I prioritise it every day.  

Last day of week 1, and my period has arrived.  Being perimenopausal and on HRT this can be a bit random, and I often feel hungrier, and wanting to eat carbohydrate.  I feel a little bit more hungry on this day - but is that as a result of the drug effect waning?  It's week 1, so the dose hasn't built up in my system yet.  

End of week 1: weight 87.2kg, loss 0.4kg

Week 2: 

A week in, and my second jab comes on the day of my first day shift of our Day/Day/Night/Night shift pattern.  And my first day of training before work at 5am: a high intensity bike session, which was fine on a small snack.  

Two day shifts in, and I'd had some small bursts of hunger - but certainly less than I would have previously.  I'd also managed to spend two 12-hour shifts in an ambulance with several bags of sweets on the dashboard, and hadn't wanted to eat them!  

Previously, I would have taken a sweet without my brain even having chance to make a conscious decision about whether this was helpful for me or not.  But now, it's as though the drug has given me the conscious headspace to make that decision.  The 'food noise' and constant pull of hyper palatable food has gone, or at least been significantly dulled, and my brain has the ability to function the way it should.  Do I actually want or need to eat that? Am I hungry?  Is eating that helpful to me?  I now have the freedom to say 'no'. 

My first two night shifts, and I want to put in place a system for keeping myself fuelled and not being hungry, while allowing myself to avoid eating Garage Fodder.  I've never really worked out what I want or need to eat on a night shift: my body has always just wanted toast, or something comforting, but on a busy night shift the chances of getting to a toaster or managing something healthy are slim.  So I thought I'd try taking Huel as a meal replacement shake, and a pot of my overnight oats for breakfast in case of an over-run shift.  Happily, two night shifts in and this approach has worked well.  Both nights I've eaten less than my full portion of dinner and taken the remainder to work in a box, along with a portion of Huel and a pot of morning oats & fruit.  I haven't felt hungry, and still haven't wanted to touch those Dashboard Sweeties. 

I also discovered through the Boots clinician in charge of my prescription that I need to adjust the dose or delivery method of my HRT, so I begin the process of following this up with my GP practice.  

On this week's long ride - a few hours on gravel - I struggled with the climbs at the start of the ride.  Am I short on calories, or is it just hard?  I'm not sure.  I'm fuelling better, right from the start, but will need to keep an eye out for patterns in how I feel during training sessions like this. 

End of week 2: weight 85.9kg. Loss so far: 1.75kg

Week 3: 

I have to order my next pen of Wegovy after the 3rd jab.  Do I increase the dose, or stay the same?  After some debate, I've decided to go up to the next dose, 0.5mg per injection.  I feel as though perhaps the effect of each dose is waning ever so slightly, and increasing at this stage is recommended, so I'll give it a go.  

Feeling a little bit tired this week - not sure whether that's as a result of eating less, to do with shifts and other life stressors, or as a result of my menstrual cycle; being perimenopausal makes that pretty irregular and hard to predict, and just 12 days after the last one, I have another period. 

As time goes on I'm discovering I know a few more people who are using or have used either Wegovy or Mounjaro, with a variety of experiences.  On the whole though, the experience has been positive, and in some cases thoroughly life changing.  I'm still somewhat blown away by the fact there is a drug that allows you to escape the voice in your head constantly reminding you of the junk food in the cupboard or on the ambulance station middle table.  I really hadn't appreciated just how loud or disruptive that little voice really was, and how much of my brain it occupied.  Being free of it most of the time is a very liberating experience.  My plan, and my hope, is that I can use this time to train my brain to continue responding this way once I stop taking the jabs. 

The number on the scales has gone up a wee bit these last few days, and I can't help but doubt myself a bit.  It's most likely to be a natural product of my menstrual cycle and normal fluctuations - I just need to keep the faith, keep doing what I'm doing.  

End of week 3: weight 86.1kg (ish - we're actually away on the day I take my jab this week).  Loss so far: 1.5kg

Week 4: 

We're away on holiday this week, just for a few days on the East coast of Scotland, and it's tempting to throw caution to the wind, so to speak - but I'm still noticing I'm fuller faster than I ever used to be.  I do think the effect of the drugs is slightly less than it was, so am happy that I decided to go up to the next dose.  

I've done a few longer training sessions now, and at first I wasn't sure how these would go.  Happily though, I don't seem to be getting any side effects using the sports nutrition I normally use for fuelling, and as long as I pay attention to getting enough carbohydrate I seem to be able to perform as normal.  Recently though, my left hip has been bothering me.  Another reminder of WHY I'm doing this in the first place.  One of my hopes is that that will ease as I get lighter.  

4 weeks in and I'm starting to notice my body changing.  Admittedly, that's not just from the last 4 weeks - I'm now 8kg lighter than I was a year ago.  And today Mark noticed that my waterproof jacket, the one I use for running, hillwalking and gravel/mtn biking, is now too big for me.  This could get expensive! 

Another new or different experience... we went out for dinner this week.  So previously, I would have considered it a 'treat' or a sort of reward, and probably picked something highly calorific.  We don't eat out very often, and this was a little gift from Mark's Dad.  But this time, something was different.  My brain had the time and space to choose something sensible - salmon, as it happens - and I didn't feel the need to overeat.  So perhaps the effect of the drug isn't actually waning at all, I'm just getting used to how it works. 

First day home, and I'm 0.9kg lighter than when we went away... 

End of Week 4: weight 85.5kg  ; Loss so far 2.1kg  

Thoughts so far...

My weight still goes up and down, but progress has been steady. It's not a quick fix or a magic bullet - I will still need to keep working hard at this. 

Will they continue to provide the 'Helping Hand' I need?  There's only one way to find out: I will take it steadily, try not to be impatient, and keep working hard to ensure this is the long term change I need.  I'll use the changes the drugs are allowing me to make to build habits that will help me in the long term, and once I stop taking them, continue to track my food, my weight and those habits.  I'm in this for the (very) long term, with a view to improving my health for the rest of my life. 

I'm a little nervous, but equally excited about where this could take me, and I'll keep writing up what I find along the way with a blog post every few weeks to track my progress. 

This little graph show my weight and my muscle mass since June 2024.  The steady majority of it, until a month ago, is my own effort.  The increased gradient over the last month is my own effort plus the drugs.  (Ignore the jump in muscle mass - I bought new, more accurate scales!). 

And here's the dinosaur-back graph of my weight over the last 10 (yes, I have had a MyFitnessPal account for that long and longer... 😳) years.  

My job from here on is going to be to level that graph out at a healthy weight.  Bring it down to where I'm happy with it, and keep it there.  That's a lifelong project. 

Are you in the same metaphorical boat?  An athlete considering using weight loss medication?  Please feel free to get in touch - I'd love to hear your experiences.  And I'll do my best to diarise what I find; it helps me to keep going, and if it helps anyone else too, even better.  

THE DETAILS: 

If you're interested, here are a few pieces of information on what I'm doing, where I've got my information from, which apps I use and who coaches me. 

Tracking apps I'm using: Fuelin; MyFitnessPal; Training Peaks; Garmin; Form goggles. 

My Coach: Alan Cardwell, Triathlonworkx. 

Supplements I'm taking: Vitamins C & D, Zinc, Magnesium, Creatine, BCAAs, Collagen II, Bovine Collagen.  To support immune health, sleep, muscle building & maintenance, joint health - all during weight loss & training. 

Books: 'Food Noise' by Dr Jack Moseley; 'Diets, Drugs & Dopamine' by David A. Kessler; 'Everything Fat Loss' & 'Fat Loss Habits' by Ben Carpenter

Scales: Renpho Morphoscan. 

Weight on date of first jab: 87.6kg; weight after 4 weeks: 85.5kg

Muscle percentage on date of first jab: 55.5% (48.6kg); after 4 weeks: 57.4% (49.1kg)

Average training time per week: approx. 10 hours